There was a time I was so desperate for affection that I would have stood in line and begged for his attention.
These days...I don't do lines. I look at him and ask myself, "What is he willing to bring to the relationship table?"
Make no mistake about it. Throw an alpha female to the wolves and that woman has the intestinal fortitude to bounce back leading her pack. And if she is really good...they will be holding hands and singing kumbaya when they return!
An alpha female is not a dominate, overbearing, man-hater. She is as sweet as a Georgia peach entertaining family friends on Friday and holding her own in the workplace on Monday.
If Mr. Right is lucky enough to find himself a true alpha female, he can rest assured he has found a lifelong partner that will help him navigate through life and have a really fun time doing it!
With that being said, somewhere along the way, women bought into the lie that being weak, insecure, and needy were character traits that would bring out a males instinct to protect and to provide for her. Maybe that was true "back in the day". But we live in a new era. An era where a woman needs the skills to make a living and a life for herself. There is no guarantee that a man is going to bring home the bacon so he can watch you fry it up in a pan...with or without the cute little apron. Today's single woman better know how to shoot her own hog or be prepared to go to bed hungry. Likewise, somewhere along the way, men bought into the lie that strong, confident, self-sufficient women were intimidating. A breed of woman that did not need, or even want, a man.
Nothing could be further from the truth. An alpha female, a worthwhile woman, has an equal drive and ambition, equal to her male counterpart. She is as driven to make a difference in her world, as he is in his. She is a loyal, caring, and dedicated woman that takes pride in fulfilling her dreams and accomplishing her goals. This does not make her an ego-driven, over-bearing nag. Neither does this make her less feminine, but it does mean less maintenance and worry for a man. In other words, she is in the relationship with her man because she chooses to be with him...not because she needs him to pay for her Coach bag.
A worthwhile woman is less independent and more interdependent. She uses her common sense, takes care of her basic needs but is not afraid to reach out to her partner for help. She lets him know she needs him and wants him around. And she is plenty comfortable allowing her man to conduct the relationship train ride. However, if he steers the ride off course she has no problem getting off at the next stop. And she will take the high road when she leaves. There will be no name calling, or late night drama. An alpha female is loving, kind, and faithful. However, she will not tolerate disrespect or joy rides at her expense.
While there is nothing attractive about a domineering, controlling woman, there is a need for a single woman to develop her strong side and develop a back bone. In today's world, Mr. Right needs to know he has a partner he can count on. A woman that can stand up for herself. A partner that will take care of business should he get injured, laid off, sick, deployed, or transferred. He needs to know you can be trusted, are loyal, and can hold your own until he returns to the relationship. Are you that woman?
I hear this from single women all the time...afraid a little back bone will run him off? Rest assured, it might aggravate him when you actually have a life and do not have time to be all up in his grille or jump through his relationship hoops like the other women he is used to. But deep down inside he will respect you for, if nothing else, believing in yourself. And do not worry that Mr. Wonderful will be intimidated by the stuff you have accumulated in your world...a strong, confident man will not be intimated. Why? Because he will be too darn busy exploring what you have in there!
So get off of the relationship roller coaster and take back your life! Relationships are not about which partner is weak or which partner is strong. Relationships are about what works. So find out what works for you! And do that, Girlfriend.